Nobody Special
by DistractingSocks
Summary: "I'm creating a brand new world, one heart at a time." -Xemnas


The S.S. Gargantuan was a sight to behold. Five massive engines, a hull three gummi blocks thick, two mass accelerating cannons welded to each wing. It was beautiful. The plastic model that Xemnas was constructing wasn't quite so impressive. After six months of sneaking into his private chamber for five minutes each day, the ship was nearly complete. Xemnas was gently sliding the last headlight into place when a sudden tremor caused the ship to jump three feet to the left. Unfortunately, Xemnas' desk was only two feet across, so a three foot jump in any direction spelled catastrophe for the tiny ship.

Roxas leapt through the recently, violently, opened door with a look of pure excitement on his beaming face. A quick glance between Xemnas and the shattered ship sent him running back out. Many, many thoughts of horrible things to do to the boy flashed through Xemnas' head, most involving blood and screaming. One involving a rather large fish. However, he decided to contain his rage for the time being. Especially the part with the fish.

"ROXAS!" He shouted, bending down to pick up the pieces of ship. "GET IN HERE!" His voice echoed through the entire castle, almost like the PA system of a budget supermarket. Roxas was sure to hear.

A spiky head poked through the doorway, ready to run if his leader decided to get stabby. "Yeeeeah?" He said, dragging the word out longer than a Komodo dragon lying on the beach. (Approximately five feet, depending on the creature's diet at the time.) His brow began to sweat.

Xemnas dropped the plastic bits onto the desk, looking none too happy. "For what reason do you find it necessary to bother me right now?"

"Well. . ." Roxas began, twiddling his fingers and trying to look innocent. "I was gonna ask about my new friend." He stepped into the room, fairly sure he could run back out if he needed to.

Xemnas raised his left eyebrow in that way that people often do when they're accompanying their eyebrow movements with a question. "What about it?" He questioned in a way that people often do when they're accompanying their questions with an eyebrow movement.

"Are they here yet?" Roxas asked, daring to take another step forward.

"Your new 'friend' is actually moving into your room as we speak." Xemnas replied, searching his desk drawers for a bottle of glue. "One thing you should know, though-" He finally looked up to see that Roxas had disappeared. The boy must have sprinted back to his room by now. "Never mind." Xemnas said to no one in particular.

"Never mind what?" Xigbar said, stepping into the room. He had just gotten back from a long day of work, and was probably in the mood to complain to anyone that he could force to listen.

"Nothing." Xemnas said. "I was just talking to Roxas about his new roommate." He stared at two pieces of his ship, looking as if it was more fun than watching paint dry. It was actually glue, so the chances of that were fairly high.

Xigbar dropped five hundred munny on the table, and plopped down onto the nearest chair. "His new roommate?" He asked. "I thought he was staying with Axel?" He readjusted his eye patch and leaned further back in his chair.

"He was, but Axel seemed to heavily influence the boy's destructive tendencies." Xemnas picked up the munny and dropped it into his desk. "After they blew up the third floor restroom, I was left with no choice but too separate them."

Xigbar was a little sad. He had quite liked that bathroom. "So you found a better roommate for him?"

"I hope so." Xemnas replied. "The only problem is that-"

The door swung open again, and the tiny ship wound up in pieces once more. Xemnas let out a long sigh as Roxas ran inside. "WHY IS THERE A GIRL IN MY ROOM?" The boy screamed, smacking both hands on the desk.

Xemnas reached for his ship once more, feeling a sudden urge to retrieve a large fish from the freezer. "She's your 'new friend', and you will handle this situation as maturely as possible." He said.

Roxas' mouth swung wide with shock. "This sucks!"

"Are you unhappy with my orders?" Xemnas asked. "I don't like it when people disagree with my orders." He cracked his knuckles.

"No," Roxas said, hoping to avoid a ghetto beatdown. "But . . . but . . ."

"But what?"

Roxas pulled at his hair, completely freaking out by this point in time. "I'll get cooties!"

Any notion of peace and quiet was now far beyond Xemnas' reach. The void they left was quickly replaced by anger, frustration, and any feelings associated with strabbing Roxas until he stopped breathing. "You won't get cooties." He said. "Cooties aren't real."

"Yes they are!" Roxas shouted as he dropped to the floor, still holding his hair. "You can't let girls into the castle because they'll give us all coooooooootiiiieees!" A few of the other organization members had gathered around the door to find out what was going on.

"There already IS a girl in this castle." Xemnas stated, massaging his forehead in an attempt to keep calm.

Roxas, who had been spinning around on the floor and wailing, stopped suddenly. "Marluxia?" He asked, sitting up. "I knew he wasn't really a boy!"

"No, Roxas. It's Larxene."

Roxas' eyes grew to the size of tennis balls. "You're lying." He said. "There is no way that Larxene's a girl."

Xemnas pointed toward the door. "Ask her yourself." He said.

Roxas turned to Larxene, who was stomping into the room in a way that did not suggest that she was here for a hug and a cup of tea. Roxas was too unobservant to see this, and began to ask his question anyway. "Are you a-" was as far as he got before Larxene punted him across the room.

"I'll kill you!" She screeched, as if her intentions weren't already obvious.

Xemnas felt that he had taken enough of this for one day, and stood up. "EVERYBODY OUT!" He yelled. Roxas ran from the room, Larxene hot on his heels. Xigbar stepped out behind them, and the others quickly departed.

Marluxia popped his head back in. "I am too a guy." He said.

"OUT!"

"Fine."

The door finally slid shut. Xemnas watched it for thirty-three seconds, turning back to his model ship when he was sure the door would stay that way for a little while. He sighed. The world had finally fell silent after a long day, and Xemnas could try to be happy again. There was nothing this Nobody enjoyed more than nothingness, and he was determined to take advantage of it.

And suddenly, his urge for a fish vanished.


End file.
